D#5, HW#3 - Paragraph Analysis

Paragraph analysis of my draft of WP#1


My WP#1 draft contains nine paragraphs. The point of paragraph one was to introduction my audience to me - the author. My first paragraphs function is to introduce my research topic on community college stigmas with some background information. It relates to the next paragraph because I used a transition - “fast forward” - to pick up the second paragraph temporal relationship way. The point of my second paragraph was show where I am at today with my community college experience. This is the paragraph where I begin to demonstrate to my audience where I stand on community college stigmas. I presented examples of stigmas as told to me by family and friends and denounce them based on my current experiences. I didn’t do a good job in transitioning to my third paragraph. This paragraph introduces why this is a controversial topic. I put this paragraph here to keep my audience interested in the topic. I then went on to paragraph five where I wrote about why the topic was important to me. I did make an effort to transition into paragraph six where I discuss my audience (my fellow MCC classmates) and why this topic may be important to them as well. In paragraph six I discussed the personal nature of this topic of community college stigmas. This paragraph shows my passion for the research topic. I give an example of the type people I met at ASU initially. This is a personal story to lend credence to my passion for the topic. I transitioned from paragraph six to paragraph seven by saying “in addition to initial impressions….” This transition leads the readers to another topic of why I chose community college over a four-year mega campus. Unfortunately, there was no transition into paragraph eight. The point of paragraph was to search with my readers some of the sub-topics I expect to include in my final research paper. Paragraph eight was a semi-conclusive paragraph. My final paragraph did begin with the transition word “finally” to show a logical relationship. The final paragraph, on hindsight, should have summarized the entire draft but (sadly) it did not. I’ll have to re-do my closing paragraph. Another thing I’ll have to re-do is my paragraph length consistency. I have very little balance in some of the paragraphs. Finally, I think I did a good job with my Unity, Coherence, Logical and Verbal bridges. My classmates will tell me for sure if I did or not.